People Who Have Made a Difference

Important people of the last 100 years ......

Jonas Salk - discovered the vaccine to irradiate Polio

Sigmund Freud - Father of Modern Pschycoanalysis

Mohandas Ghandi-introduced the non-violent revolution and used it to
create and independent India.

Winston Churchill- Triumphed over fascism and held the western world
together through 2 World Wars.

Eleanor Roosevelt First female US Delegate to the United Nations, co-
authored the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Marie Curie -Scientist who discovered the interior of the Atom, Nobel
Prize.

Nelson Mandeala -Defeated Racial tyranny in South Africa
Watson and Crick- Unlocked the Genetic code in discovering the Double
Helix of DNA-RNA.

William Bill Gates with Steve Jobs and Paul Wozniak create the home
computer what would r become Apple and Microsoft


Okay ...Okay .....maybe what these people have accomplished is impressive .....okay, advanced the modern age .....but no has tackled both cellulite, and panty lines .....and lower body fat like



Sara Blakely - Inventor of Spanx


She single handed ... cut the feet off her panty hose to look smashing in her
cream colored pants, what she didn't know was she had just given birth
to a utopian era new era in body shaping hosiery-Spanx

Diesease, world hunger , racism and nuclear proliferation don't mean a rats ass if my ass looks lumpy in my dress...

Get it straight !!!!!

Open Note To My Cab Driver ......

You just dropped me off at my house .......

NO.......... I'M NOT FUCKING "EXPECTING"

Were you expecting a tip?????

Unless you see a head coming out of a woman's vagina ....NEVER ....NEVER ......ask that question...

Note to self .... Things to do ASAP....

Return new sundress .....

Buy Supersize Spanx

Call Jenny Craig's suicide hot line ........?

The Dance

Mom, have you ever been to a dance before?

DRWB casually asks this question....... We have set out on our quest to find shoes for the upcoming 5th grade dance .

Shit, where is that cheesy music coming from ....??????

All of a sudden it is 1980 again, and I swear I can hear Todd Rundgren singing ,"Hello Its Me " in the background.

I'm instantly brought back in time to a place I would rather not be.

A sadistic Spanish teacher .... Senorita Moscowitz.... has asked all the 8th grade girls to put one of their shoes in the middle of the dance floor.....this mind fuck can only happen at a school dance.


Phatush is a jewish girl from Long Island, so her shoes are suburban fabulous.....and get spoken for immediately. Much to her delight they are chosen by the 10 year old "it boy"- Eric Estrada Wanna Be.

Eric goes on a quest to find his 13 year old Cinderella and notices Phatush wearing the missing shoe.

At this point Phatush has perfected her Ally Sheedy Breakfast Club look mess of blond curls ......dressed in black . For those of you who know me not much has changed. (long coat with dandruff included) ....she waits for Prince Eric to give her first slow dance.

Eric approaches Phatush ....hands her back the shoe .....and WALKS AWAY.

Phatush did not know this at the time but Prince Eric probably wanted both shoes for the keeping .....to go with his diamond tiara.

Updated - Years later Phatush ran into Eric and his bear boyfriend outside the Ram Rod Club in the East Village. They both looked great.

How do you explain this to a 10 year old?

How do save her from having her heart ripped out of her tween asshole.

My first thought is to break out a fist full of 20 dollar bills and offer them up to all the 5th grade boys in her class to dance with her.

That won't work - the asst. principal banned all parents from the event............. (and I asked)

I'm left with just trying to help her navigate and develop during this time with as few battle scars as possible.

good luck.