The Phatush Diaries

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Struck Down In Our Prime

Barbaro and Phatush - parallel Lives

We both were at the top of our game,right ?

Champions in our own right.

The picture of health and fitness.....Taking good care of our physical machines..Okay, So he's being trained on a regular basis , eating right, and has a team of health care professional catering to his every whim. I'm smoking at pack of day, drinking enough coffee to wire a up a team of air traffic controllers, and downing Costco size packages of uncooked Hebrew National hotdogs. Did I mention that this fine young animal currently operates without any health insurance ....I was talking about me, not him.

So we are both cruising along .....Okay, maybe not cruising..... I'm more navigating my life like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest . Barbaro wins the Kentucky Derby on that beautiful Saturday afternoon. I win 30 dollars on him due to my high tech betting system. (He is wearing the number 8- I love the number 8) It is a day to celebrate wins a cool 8 mil. I score some take-out with my purse. We are bonded together ....girl and horse ....Like Liz Taylor in National Velvet ....Like Lady Godiva in....Well maybe not...

Then it happened .....FIRST THE HORSE

It was all a dramatic turn from Saturday, when Barbaro seemed poised to take the next step in becoming the first Triple Crown winner since Affirmed in 1978. Instead, Bernardini won the $1 million Preakness, beating Sweetnorthernsaint by 5ΒΌ lengths.

At the starting gate, Barbaro was eager to go. The unbeaten Kentucky Derby winner gave jockey Edgar Prado every indication he was set for the race of his life.



Jockey Edgar Prado was off Barbaro quickly after the horse was injured in the Preakness.

The strapping bay colt was bucking in the starting gate at Pimlico Race Course, and he even broke through early. All seemed well after Prado reined him in and returned to the No. 6 gate for a second start.

About 12 seconds later, the question wasn't whether Barbaro would win the Triple Crown, but whether he would live.


THEN ME ...
THEN ME ...

Mother's Day ....The wonderful hottie who I have declared my love for CPOAA (Crown Prince of Atlantic Ave) has been wooed off of a bar stool and into Jewish Mother Hell. He is going to have Mother's Day dinner with DRWB and DAK and My Parents. Let's just say there is not a drink stiff enough or a joint fat enough to get him outta this one. I'm thinking one of those Mutual Of Omaha stun guns might be helpful. I suddenly come up with the perfect way to bond MY MOTHER with CPOAA. He will take her on a ride on his motorcycle...SMOOTH....When it comes to great ideas this one ranks right up there with celebrating my 8th birthday by allowing girls at my slumber party to cut my hair instead of the plastic barbie head. Allowing my mother to mount this bike like an aging Hells Angel is the ultimate betrayal to DAK.....like the time I hurled his Music Together CD out the car window because I couldn't take another round of the Hello Song. As Grandma Easy Rider is ready to take off with CPOAA DAK starts to do civil disobedience that would put any ACT UP member to shame. I step in ...after all it is Mother's Day and I should be doing something. I'm ready and willing to use my Vulcan Death Grip on DAK to get him in the house. HE IS NOT HAVING IT. DAK struggles ....I trip ....foot snaps....

The rest has all been a Vicodin haze.