Weight Watchers

Dear Weight Loss Checker ,

It's me ....You know ....Phatush!

Yeah ....Yeah ......It's been 5 weeks and I've dropped a couple of pounds....(I know, It's like the Queen Mary losing a deck chair)

Help me out here .....please.

Far be it for me to tell anyone how to do their job effectively but here are some things that I need from you to make this weight loss journey go a little easier ...

The way I see it you have a long line of fat asses waiting to get weighed in each week ....it can't be easy, right?

I must be honest now and tell you that your lack of enthusiasm each week when you weigh me in is really getting to me .

When I drop 2.6 lbs in a week I have worked hard to make that happen. Trust me ....Eli Weisel wasn't as hungry leaving the camps as I was this week on your fucking diet....and passing up that movie theater popcorn made Sophie's Choice look like an easy one.

I don't need a fireworks display and half time at the Super Bowl ......but you looking up at me and saying ,"good job" would be nice.

As I see it you need to be able to do three things as a "Weight Watcher Weigher"

1) Add and Subtract.

2) Not eat Cheetos while you weigh me in ...or offer me any.

3) SHOW SOME FUCKING SUPPORT FOR HOW I'M DOING EACH WEEK.

Really ...how hard is this?

I'm not asking to crack open peoples heads and play around with gray matter...

So ...what's the problem?

I think I'm just hungry ....that must be it ....