Craigslist Hook-up

Yes, DAK (Day After Kid) even at 8 you were burned by Craigslist.

NEWSFLASH - PEOPLE ON CRAIGSLIST LIE!!!!

I know this is hard to understand......

Thank god yours was a free -almost dead- teddy bear hamster - and not a 45 year old weathered pole dancer who claimed to be a dead ringer for Drew Barrymore......... but instead looked like Drew Carey.

This is valuable life lesson that many take forever to learm....

Nothing is for free ........Everything has a price tag................and real ex-models don't look for dates on Craigslist ......okay ....okay ......the last part I was hoping that you wouldn't have to learn until you were at least in 8th grade.

I will hand it to you DAK...... you acted just like most men that were burned by Craigslist .... you looked at the person who was making the offer .....asked if she was really sure the hamster was only 1 year .............asked about the dented taped together cage .............looked a little disappointed ......and then took it home anyway .....

-Just like a man......

Can you find my __________________???????

Phatush spends most of each morning being asked to locate family members various items that have not been seen of since Nixon visited China.

It's a game that would make Monty Hall on Lets Make a Deals head spin. All that's missing is a cash reward when she locates the missing prize.

For example .....

DAK (Day After Kid)- MOM.....Did you see the Lego hat that I had in my pocket this summer when I left for camp....went to my dad's house .......and then spent the weekend there......I think the last time I saw it was after the July 4th fireworks in Battery Park ..............and then I dropped it down the back seat of the other car we sold sometime before school started in September ........?????? or maybe I left it at grandmas ....or maybe in Montauk when we were there this summer .

BH (Baggage Handler) - Yeah .....Where did you put my Rangers tee-shirt .....you know .....the one that doesn't fit ......it's my lucky shirt ......the last time I wore it they won the Stanley Cup ....that was in the mid 90's .....????

DRWB- (Diana Ross Wanna Be )..... (at 11:45 pm on a Sunday night ) I need that THING .....you know .....THAT THING.....How could you not know what I'm talking about???? I need it for TOMORROW.....If I don't have it tomorrow I'll fail out of 7th grade and be a NOTHING like you......you want me to fail .....DON'T YOU??????....IF DAK NEEDED THAT THING YOU'D FIND IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE THE WORST MOTHER EVER!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT .... You love DAK more than me !!!!!!!

Hear this family .....Phatush is not Matlock ......I'm not even that crazy bitch on Murder She Wrote .....

My uterus is not a homing device !!!!! When you were born they didn't put a GPS up my box that secretly locates missing items.

NEWSFLASH .....

Try looking for what you need in the last place you saw it .....Works every time.

John Edwards

Okay Edwards .....You have really pissed me off.

Fucking around on your nice fat wife who has terminal cancer .......I've heard worse.

Pretending that the kid isn't yours for almost 2 years......(Yup , Dudes always meet up in hotel rooms and hug babies that aren't theirs )

BUT NOW YOU VISIT HAITI A WEEK AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE ????!!!!????!!!!???

Phatush is guessing you brought a date .....or you're trying to score.