The Remote

In a somewhat rare display of unity, my husband, BH (Baggage Handler), gave over the TV remote for 3 hours and let Phatush control the evening.

Phatush seized the opportunity and forced Baggage Handler to watch 3 hours of the Oxygen Network. (You know, TV for women.... by women.)
He was subjected to the following shows:

Bridezilla - Heinous brides-to-be leave their trailer parks and try to make their 500 dollar weddings look glamorous. They usually wind up pitching a fit when their 27 dollar carnation bridal bouquet doesn't come out right. As far as I'm concerned, this is an hour of heaven.

Say Yes To The Dress- Brides shop for dresses at the one of a kind bridal store - Kleinfeld's. Brides are often encouraged to spend the equivalent of the down payment for a new car on their bridal gown. At Kleinfeld's, you can meet with their esteemed "Headpiece Specialist" to create your own bridal veil. Are they fucking kidding me? What master's degree program is that? Headpiece Specialist?
(In the interest of full disclosure: Phatush owns a bridal gown from Kleinfeld's. I think it was from a wedding or two back, and it made a great Halloween costume a few years ago.)

and

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT - Where 2nd shift McDonald's employees give birth in the fast food restaurant's toilet. These chicks had no idea they were pregnant at the start of the business day. Don't despair... their fellow co-workers are there to catch the newborn before it was accidentally flushed down the john. I really couldn't make this shit up if I tried.


By the time TV viewing was over, BH needed 2 shots of cheap whiskey, the channel changed to boxing, and some crappy Chinese food. Anything to restore his manhood.

I guess it will a long time till I see the remote again.