Classroom Birthday Party

Dear Class Mom,

Yes ....I know that we are planning to bring something in to celebrate our kid's birthday that both happen to fall in the month of September.

Yes, I know that your daughter has an allergy to wheat, dairy, eggs, milk, cheese, yada ......yada ....yada.....

Yes, I know that last year I made those great tasting rice crispy treats ......

BUT .....

I'M NOT DOING THAT CRAP AGAIN .... NO WAY ....

FIRST...

MY 2 high end Caphlon pots look like they were burned in Chernobyl......

Don't dismay ......the gym teacher is still getting good use out of the burnt rice crispy treats a full year later .... as sporting equipment for the 5th grade intermural soccer team.


Your idea of bringing in a healthy snack .........apples and honey (in honor of the holiday) to celebrate our kid's birthdays ....SUCKS ASS.

Who ever heard of blowing out a flaming apple????

Your other suggestion ...That I run out to Junior's, and pick your daughter up her own 13 dollar slice of cheesecake.....shows me one thing ....THAT YOU ARE A CRAZY MESHUGENAH CUNT!!!!!!!

Get this straight ......

You will eat the Betty Crocker Vanilla Cupcakes that I will frost in the back of my Jeep 15 minutes before the party ...

Oh....BTW ....you may want to brush off the ashes from my Camel Light ....(it's not sprinkles) ....and pick out some of the dog hair.

Happy Birthday DAK and Allergy Girl.