Bigger Kadunkadunk

	Kadunkadunk
	Someone who has a wide juicy, thick scrumptious fat ass. Remember this person has a fat ass they are not a fat ass person there's a big difference! (from: urbandictionary.com) I'll say it here: There has never been an everything bagel and cream cheese that didn't have my name on it. While pregnant with DAK (in 2001), I gained a whopping 86 lbs...... I defied both nature and science by giving birth to a 7 pound kid and coming out of the hospital 9 lbs. heavier. I'm still not sure how I accomplished this; to this day, I still think that sadistic nurse had one foot on the scale at the final weigh-in. Maybe it was her way of getting even for the havoc I put everyone through on the maternity floor. For example, when she asked if I needed anything, I responded "YES! A hammer to knock myself unconscious!" Well, fast forward 8 years... And a loss of 257 pounds total (107 off my body... and 150 lbs. of ex-husband).... And I find myself packing on the pounds again. It might be the influence of my new husband, who always seems ready to pull a drive-by at KFC or Taco Smell. He (Baggage Handler) happens to be a big guy, and can polish off a meal from the Burger King lounge like a Rikers Island inmate on leave. He prides himself on being thrown out of 3 all-you-can-eat buffets. However, for his own safety, he keeps silent about my ever-expanding ass. It has gotten out of control, and I know this... how? I can no longer walk near the two local housing projects without getting male attention..... and as tempting as that might be, it's really not for me. So whenever the next Biggest Loser casting call is..... Here I am.