Dear Mayor Bloomberg

I know there are a lot of things to think about with your upcoming election a mere 6 weeks away. In a last ditch effort to capture the undecided, vote I have a plan for you...

As soon as possible please add the following city ordinance to the books; I'm sure it will close the deal on your win for a 3rd term as the City's mayor.


EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: No visible tattoos on any woman over the age 37.

I never want to see the words "PRETTY TITTIE" on any aging woman's boobs.

The ordinance should also include tramp stamps on the lower back. No second grade class needs to be traumatized by viewing some yuppy's fading tribal symbol when she bends over to give out snacks.

The back-story-

While shopping the sale rack at Loehmann's this past weekend, Phatush got an eye full of some aging mom's bad ink. (BTW, Loehmann's on Sundays has more Jews than Yom Kippur services)

This chick's ink may have looked good back in 1987 while cruising in her boyfriend's T-top Camaro and listening to Whitesnake... but 20 years later it's a horror show.

In fact, maybe money should be allocated from the budget for the removal and restoration of these defiled body part. A lot like the rebuilding of Ground Zero, this would restore morale among city residents, boost tourism, and make the city a more beautiful place to live.

You have to trust me on this one.

Sincerely,
Phatush