Phatush at the Movies

Any multiplex should just ban ticket sales to Phatush. She belongs home watching DVDs and taking frequent breaks to ask questions and use the bathroom.

Like most Jewish women, Phatush needs to use the bathroom every 20 minutes and is not ready to wear adult diapers just to watch SAW 6.

Phatush likes to sit right in the middle of the theater.... and in the middle of the row. Not so difficult if there is a lot of empty seating..... but here is where it gets tricky...... she also likes to see a movie in the first week that comes out. Can you say "packed theater?" Over the years many movie patrons have been treated to an extra special pee/lap dance from Phatush as she works her way toward the exit.

Phatush never shuts the hell up.....at any given moment she might decide to rehash a conversation/fight with the Time Warner cable guy she had earlier in the day..... or link the actor that she is currently watching (...or any actor....) to JACK BLACK.... because, after all, he bought her a drink about 110 years ago in a bar on 12th Street.


Phatush likes to ask questions to the person next to her about plot, character development, and what happened in the movie 20 minutes prior. Lets face it..... if the plot get more complicated than Weekend at Bernie's..... Phatush is lost.

Phatush laughs at all the things most people don't find funny..... you name it: death, famine, war, and random acts of violence leave her in stitches. This started with Brian's Song at age 8 and continues.

Phatush will never pay movie theater concession prices. She thinks they are outrageous. She thinks nothing of sneaking in her own popcorn, water, soda, candy, 3 course sushi dinner...... just for starters.


One word about her movie viewing ....

Netflix